Read Boredom Fighters! Canada’s first successful complilation of graphic poetry!
The graphic poet uses striking imagery to strike out at readers who are too blaséd by written verse to care about metaphor. Random Acts of Poetry—Now with Graphics! (October 3rd to 9th in cities across Canada, the UK and Ireland) allows the graphic poet to seek out and destroy the powerful readers of serious information who scoff at poetry. By encouraging and feeding their scoff-making impulse with silly graphic poetry about killer whales in a fish tank wearing a look that clearly says “You Are Next,” the graphic poet can validate his internal dichomotous beauty by making the serious information-seeker feel discomfited for just long enough to vocalize an excuse for his habitual dumping of killer whale poems into recycling bins with oxygenated drinks of all kinds.
This is about graphic poet warfare to numb the minds of the most strident information seekers who rush around in their jet-set lives making bribes, engaging in graphically illicit behaviours and hoarding the bestselling shelves in Chapters/Indigo stores across the American nations of the North, while humble graphic poets are forced to lean, spines out, on dusty shelves eating sandwiches of their colleagues’ fiction.
Take heed of the following parable about guarding one’s criticisms around a graphic poet: A group of publishing workers were clustered together during a book launch. Among them was a graphic poet who had recently joined the publishing company in an internship. Eager to impress her boss, who was around the same age, she quipped, “You’re the only girl I’ve met who doesn’t give off scary vibes through her body language.” An onlooker hearing the remark, tried to point out the inappropriateness of this comment, with the result that the next day, he found a caricature of himself on the office chalkboard drawn in an offensive pose with his comments for the hilarity of others.
On another occasion, when the same group of coworkers were listening to a girl among them suffering from body image problems, the graphic poet offered the following compliment: “You’d look great in a two-piece…I don’t want you to show me, just let me imagine…” Needless to say, the man who had found fault with her comment about her boss immediately jumped on this one, rebuking its offensiveness. He faced a jeering crowd the next day involving a depiction of himself in caricature that might or might not have benefited from the donning of a two-piecer. When the graphic poet also remarked to her self-conscious friend, “I wanna eat your necklace, it’s so pretty” and then turned to her sharpest critic to see what he would say, he wisely turned his attention towards the coffee-machine and kept mum.
- The age of the graphic poet is always young enough to get paid for a killer attitude for a living and old enough to save the best for the next installment.
- Clean and friendly with snazzy professional polish, his dress is understated, in a manner becoming an artiste who wears reader satisfaction as his designer brand.
- He stands apart from the crowd with his ability to shine bright hope into readers’ souls to pave their stairway to heaven.
- His weakness is being very chatty with cool readers who like to chat things up with him.
- His ambition is to reduce modern-day conflicts to a caricature where the latest graphic effects are employed to make us keen to study pulp fiction.
- His labour commences whenever energy and spirit coalesce to make his mind ready for comedic, creative graphic action.
- He enjoys people, pets, sitcoms, animation, epic struggles, wrestling like a baby, thinking about canned food but not eating it, Jamie Oliver, beauty, truth and justice, and desperate prayers for salvation from paltry poetry that does not inspire.
- He occasionally suffers from weaknesses and temptations including graphic block, where words trump images in a graphic vacuum.